Hello everyone! I’m sorry I have been MIA since my last post. I am happy to report I am feeling much better! I’ve finished my antibiotics, and other than a little bit of lingering congestion, I’m good as new! As part of that recovery, that meant getting back to the gym. I’ve been regularly going to Crossfit about 3x a week since October, and feeling stronger and stronger. However, when I got hit with the plague, I was out of commission for a week and a half. I really struggled with that – I felt like I had finally been making progress and was frustrated about taking a break while I was sick (even though I knew it was necessary).
But getting back to the gym was great. That first workout back was tough, but I felt exhilarated by it. I had forgotten what my body was capable of. That has been my favorite part about Crossfit so far. For years, I’ve looked on in envy at pictures and videos on Instagram, wishing I could join Crossfit but feeling like there was no way I could do it. I wasn’t in shape enough. I had injuries to contend with. People would judge me.
Ugh, negative self-talk. Am I right?
But when I finally bit the bullet (partially done because I could not stomach sitting on an elliptical anymore), I was thrilled to find out 1) anyone can join Crossfit, no matter your fitness level, 2) and tied in with that first point but also relevant to my injuries, anything can be modified, and 3) no one is judging you because everyone is too busy working their ass off too. On the contrary, the amount of encouragement and support I received was amazing. I’m not sure my fellow gym members know, but I’m so immensely grateful for their pep talks and cheering, and making me feel welcome.
Anyway, back to my favorite part of Crossfit. Every time I walk into the gym and see the workout written on the board, I want to leave, and (again, with the negative self-talk) tell myself there is no way I’d be able to do that. And every single time, I’m wrong, and I do it. My self confidence and self esteem has risen immensely just because of that one fact – finding out I’m capable of so much more than I thought.
And this leads to the epiphany I had today. I missed the AM classes, as I was up late last night, and knew I wouldn’t be making Crossfit. I still belong to my old gym though, a membership I felt reluctant to cancel, and it was raining, so I decided to go and just get some movement in, as I was super sore from yesterday’s workout (Filthy Fifty, oy). So I trekked over to my old gym, ready with some podcasts to get on the treadmill and move my sore muscles.
Two minutes in, I had the epiphany. I hated it. HATED it. Now, this is not meant to be a criticism of my gym, or any non-Crossfit gym, this is about finding what works for you. But I was 1) bored, 2) forced to watch stuff on the TVs I had no interest in, 3) was sweating immediately because it was so stuffy in there, and 4) it smelled a bit, probably because of the stuffiness, and the fact this large gym probably sees much more traffic than my new gym. I just looked around, and suddenly felt like it just wasn’t a good fit. I had gone to this gym for years, and it was no longer mine. I also realized that if I want to get some movement in, I’m going to do it outside! Part of the reason I wanted to get some walking in was because in the past few years, I’ve gotten really into hiking, and I want to start planning some little hikes on the weekends.
I guess this epiphany just made me realize I made the right choice, and made me grateful I finally did it. For years I’ve struggled to find a workout that I loved, that motivated me to go to the gym, and that made me feel better about myself. And I finally found it. And if I’m not going to my Crossfit, I’m going to be outside, because I love that too.
It took me until my 30s to find what works for me, but I finally did, and I feel relieved to finally know what it is. So really, this post is an ode to finding what you love! If you’re bored with what you’re doing, try something new. Don’t be a wuss about it. Don’t negative self-talk yourself away from doing it (ugh, so much time I wasted!) but just get out there and do it.